I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
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She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
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Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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