I just saw a hot homeless man
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
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