she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
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everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
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You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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