Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize