ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
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