We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
Randomize