i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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