i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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