I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
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