Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (614): Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something? http://tfl.nu/rkwq
  Replies (29) Good night (588) Bad night (3423) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (301): View more from Maryland

  i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (301): i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test http://tfl.nu/616n
  Replies (130) Good night (20270) Bad night (2106) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (330): Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy. http://tfl.nu/mi86
  Replies (85) Good night (1979) Bad night (6098) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (414): nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day. http://tfl.nu/vo27
  Replies (24) Good night (6452) Bad night (694) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (904): View more from Florida

  we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (904): we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways http://tfl.nu/vdwk
  Replies (6) Good night (4080) Bad night (1041) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (323): View more from California

  I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (323): I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning http://tfl.nu/dryp
  Replies (22) Good night (5723) Bad night (971) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (503): Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on http://tfl.nu/atvv
  Replies (12) Good night (783) Bad night (4001) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (570): He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this. http://tfl.nu/9z6q
  Replies (18) Good night (4142) Bad night (846)
• Favorite

  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%

  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (405): Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10% (405): And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar. http://tfl.nu/4y72
  Replies (10) Good night (2180) Bad night (548)
• Favorite

  (660): View more from Missouri

  How did you make it to work sans hangover?

  (816): View more from Missouri

  4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (660): How did you make it to work sans hangover? (816): 4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols http://tfl.nu/2csk
  Replies (8) Good night (1700) Bad night (803)
• Favorite

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (615): You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it. http://tfl.nu/hvow
  Replies (4) Good night (1587) Bad night (428) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (403): All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for? http://tfl.nu/dlqr
  Replies (22) Good night (3577) Bad night (437) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (260): View more from Indiana

  It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (260): It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed? http://tfl.nu/04go
  Replies (3) Good night (968) Bad night (423) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (702): View more from Nevada

  I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (702): I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right? http://tfl.nu/36o3
  Replies (4) Good night (559) Bad night (1025) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (202): I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it. http://tfl.nu/il0a
  Replies (12) Good night (1005) Bad night (434)

Randomize