what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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