Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
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