i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
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I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
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You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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