At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
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It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
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So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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