i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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