just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
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We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
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