she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I need mimosas to revive my soul
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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