Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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