Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
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Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
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