I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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