Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize