Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I enjoy the company of your penis
Randomize