she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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