my mouth tastes like poor choices
so let's talk penis.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize