I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
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