We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
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So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
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You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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