Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
So. Much. Porn.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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