well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize