I CAN MOONWALK!
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize