but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
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