Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
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My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
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First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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