I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize