It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
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