today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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