Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Randomize