when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize