she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
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I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
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If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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