I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
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I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
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Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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