A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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