I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
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