Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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