I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
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It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
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Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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