So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
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Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
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DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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