i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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