theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize