I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
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