420 ftw
Fuck appropriateness.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
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