I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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