I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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