woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize